It all started with some friends...

Hello friends.

This is my late addition to the last blog during which time I realised that I don't even know what to say about it. Life's too short to stay angry with people. Plus being angry requires too much energy and brain-space that should otherwise be used for more useful things.

Short and sweet for today. Goodnight! :)

It all started with exams finishing

Hello friends.

It's been an absolute age since my last post, I know, but it's been busy and all with exams. Now that they're over, I'm hoping to post on here fairly often. :)

Today I'm just going to unload a few thoughts on destiny, relationships and anger. (*Edit 25 minutes in: oh boy, this is gonna be a long one... *Edit 1 hour and 15 minutes in: I think I'll just cover destiny today.)

I'm going to start off with exams finishing, but really the story should start at the beginning of the semester. (Unless you really want to read a pointless story about not having the nerves to talk to someone, then please skip this paragraph.) I was finally enrolled in an Arts faculty subject at university and I was beyond excited about it. I've always felt that an Arts degree would've suited me so much more if it wasn't for the lack of career options upon completing it. Anyway, I found the first lecture quite interesting and was even disappointed that there were no tutorial during the first week of semester. Second week came along and I soon found myself sitting in a room full of Arts students. Excited as I was, I was too shy to talk to anyone and I remained consistently shy for the remainder of the year. Anyway, first tutorial. The tables are arranged in a circle so that everyone can contribute to the discussion. The seat next to me was one of the last taken and was taken by a rather ruggedly good-looking guy. Me being me, I didn't say a word to him. He sat next to me again in the second tutorial and, once again, I didn't say a word. He was crazy smart and was obviously studying properly for the subject (which I was not doing). I probably learnt more from all his contributions to tute discussion than I did from all the lectures. When he didn't sit next to me, I could properly see his face. I think he's probably the best looking thing I've seen at uni since I started there a year ago. He wasn't good-looking in the normal sense, with blue eyes, carefully styled hair and a wardrobe to rival David Beckham's, but he just looked so masculine and every thing he said was intelligent and said well. Incase you were wondering, I wasn't the only one who stared at him while he spoke; all the other girls in the tute did too and he seemed to get along with one of the prettiest ones particularly well. I told myself that, before the semester ended I would go up to him and say thankyou for all the help that he's unknowingly given me in the subject. Predictably, I never had the courage to do so. The day before my Arts subject exam, I found myself wondering if I'd see him amongst the sea of students also sitting their exams. I thought it to be highly likely but I didn't think too much of it; there was still the matter of the exams. I arrived at my exam and walked around the entire building thinking that I was at the wrong entrance only to discover that there was only one entrance. It started raining heavily as they allowed all the students into the examination room. My designated seat was number 288. I nervously looked for my seat. I saw 300 on one of them and figured mine must be in the same row so I searched it. It wasn't long until I realised that the numbers were slowly getting larger instead of smaller so I turned around feeling slightly puzzled and also slightly annoyed at myself. To my surprise, the guy from my tute was staring at me; he was sitting in the row that I had just tried to find my seat in. I made eye contact with him for a second but walked away as fast as I could to avoid further embarrassment. Not knowing anyone, I was eager to get out of the examination room after the examination itself. I found myself walking really close to the guy but he was in conversation with the pretty girl from our tute. I sped up my pace of walking. There was a blockage at the exit due to everyone wanting to leave at once. I found myself standing very close to him once again. I walked in the opposite direction as soon as I could. While walking to uni to return some library books, I was quite annoyed at myself for having not said thankyou when so many opportunities to do so were given to me that day. I love uni when there's no one there. It feels really peaceful. As it was exam time, there was no one walking around at all. So I was walking into uni as two guys were walking out. I realised one of them was the guy from my Arts subject. I stared at the ground and walked past them. Later on that day, I realised that I'd probably never see him ever again and it was stupid of me not to say thankyou or start a conversation with him. Even later on, I realised that he probably didn't even know who I was or that I existed at all; it's not as though I ever did or said anything (literally) during tutes to draw any sort of attention towards myself.

Okay, so the lesson learnt here is that all the world can give you is opportunity. You must be the one who takes the final step. The world can give you countless chances and get you within arms reach of what you want to achieve but ultimately you have to have the courage to grab it. I had so many opportunities in the one day yet I failed to act upon a single one. I once heard someone phrase it as: 'Fate can only take you so far.' There is no point moping about how you're cursed with bad luck or that guy/girl never looks at you. Someone has to take the step, why can't it be you? Instead of waiting for every thing to come neatly wrapped, you could accomplish so much more if you took the initiative to do so.

Anyway, it's getting really late. I'll blog again about the latter two topics I mentioned earlier soon; hopefully tomorrow. Until then, take care friends. :)

It all started with some trees...

It's about time I sat and wrote down some of my thoughts. I don't know whether it's the result of the mixing of my cultural background, friends, family and the fact that I'm the youngest in my family by an unusual amount of years but I find myself asking questions. A lot. They are often questions that I can't answer; one could just say it's food for thought.

It was a particularly lovely day today and I was about to board a tram to get to university. Seeing as though it was such a lovely day, I decided to walk to uni instead. It's a 15 minute walk compared to a 5-8 minute tram ride. I couldn't help but notice the luscious shades of green from the tree leaves above me and wonder if anyone else had thought the same thing as they walked past today. How many people would stop and take in the natural beauty that, to me, just seemed to be radiating from it? As I looked towards the road, countless cars drove by at rapid speed. These people were probably in a rush to get to work or school or an appointment of some sort but it sure seemed a shame to me that they couldn't stop to look at all the wonderful things that appear naturally and are often not noticed. As I continued my walk to uni, I tried to be as aware of my surroundings as I possibly could be. To my amazement, everything seemed just perfect. Even the advertising posters half-plastered to the walls of buidings seemed to just belong, like they were meant to be there. Everything seemed to fit together. The noises, the smells, the parkbenches, trams cruising by... it was as though they had found their place in the world. They were content. They were happy. They were perfect. Such perfection can only exude happiness.

This turned my thoughts to why people are always so stressed or upset or angry. What causes anger? Does it result simply because things do not go our way? If so, does this make us selfish? Selfishness is generally seen as a bad quality, so does this make us bad people? But if everyone is a bad, then is there no bad at all because all are so?

I came home and checked the mail. My brother has been overseas so I've been opening his mail for him. There was a letter today from World Vision. It contained a small, paper calendar and a pre-printed Christmas card for the child that my brother sponsors overseas. The calendar theme was 'Amazing Creatures of the World' and had a picture of a different wild-life animal for each month. It wasn't anything fancy; just paper. This got me thinking. The calendar and the card was probably all that the child would be receiving this Christmas. It probably didn't cost very much. A child at the local primary school probably wouldn't value such a gift as much as little Neva, my brother's sponsor child. How could something so simple make someone so happy?

Then I realised that in comparison to their style of living, this paper calendar would almost appear to be from another world altogether. So I concluded that it comes down to comparing objects with what we already have. This, I thought, applies to our society as much as theirs. For example, if you currently have a computer that is worth $1000, it would be of no great importance or make you exceedingly happy to receive a computer that was worth $200. But if you were to receive a computer worth $1500 then this would make you very happy. Why do we feel this way? Is it because we feel like we're advancing? Does it make us feel superior to those who cannot match us? Is this happiness stemmed from selfishness alone?

Why is it necessary for us to feel superior? Why is there that need for advancement? Had mankind never discovered electricity or fire and stayed exactly like they were a dozen hundred thousand years ago, would we be happier? Would a savage be just as happy as a 'modern' person? Would they be even happier? Would there be anything wrong if we all lived as savages? I think that 'modernising' the world has placed greater stress upon the individual. Money, careers, academic qualifications and the constant reminder that we must appear in a way that is acceptable to society has greatly decreased our happiness. In the end, of what importance are these achievements? We spend so much time and pain to strive for them yet of what significance are they in the end?

That is all for today. :)