It all started with exams finishing

Hello friends.

It's been an absolute age since my last post, I know, but it's been busy and all with exams. Now that they're over, I'm hoping to post on here fairly often. :)

Today I'm just going to unload a few thoughts on destiny, relationships and anger. (*Edit 25 minutes in: oh boy, this is gonna be a long one... *Edit 1 hour and 15 minutes in: I think I'll just cover destiny today.)

I'm going to start off with exams finishing, but really the story should start at the beginning of the semester. (Unless you really want to read a pointless story about not having the nerves to talk to someone, then please skip this paragraph.) I was finally enrolled in an Arts faculty subject at university and I was beyond excited about it. I've always felt that an Arts degree would've suited me so much more if it wasn't for the lack of career options upon completing it. Anyway, I found the first lecture quite interesting and was even disappointed that there were no tutorial during the first week of semester. Second week came along and I soon found myself sitting in a room full of Arts students. Excited as I was, I was too shy to talk to anyone and I remained consistently shy for the remainder of the year. Anyway, first tutorial. The tables are arranged in a circle so that everyone can contribute to the discussion. The seat next to me was one of the last taken and was taken by a rather ruggedly good-looking guy. Me being me, I didn't say a word to him. He sat next to me again in the second tutorial and, once again, I didn't say a word. He was crazy smart and was obviously studying properly for the subject (which I was not doing). I probably learnt more from all his contributions to tute discussion than I did from all the lectures. When he didn't sit next to me, I could properly see his face. I think he's probably the best looking thing I've seen at uni since I started there a year ago. He wasn't good-looking in the normal sense, with blue eyes, carefully styled hair and a wardrobe to rival David Beckham's, but he just looked so masculine and every thing he said was intelligent and said well. Incase you were wondering, I wasn't the only one who stared at him while he spoke; all the other girls in the tute did too and he seemed to get along with one of the prettiest ones particularly well. I told myself that, before the semester ended I would go up to him and say thankyou for all the help that he's unknowingly given me in the subject. Predictably, I never had the courage to do so. The day before my Arts subject exam, I found myself wondering if I'd see him amongst the sea of students also sitting their exams. I thought it to be highly likely but I didn't think too much of it; there was still the matter of the exams. I arrived at my exam and walked around the entire building thinking that I was at the wrong entrance only to discover that there was only one entrance. It started raining heavily as they allowed all the students into the examination room. My designated seat was number 288. I nervously looked for my seat. I saw 300 on one of them and figured mine must be in the same row so I searched it. It wasn't long until I realised that the numbers were slowly getting larger instead of smaller so I turned around feeling slightly puzzled and also slightly annoyed at myself. To my surprise, the guy from my tute was staring at me; he was sitting in the row that I had just tried to find my seat in. I made eye contact with him for a second but walked away as fast as I could to avoid further embarrassment. Not knowing anyone, I was eager to get out of the examination room after the examination itself. I found myself walking really close to the guy but he was in conversation with the pretty girl from our tute. I sped up my pace of walking. There was a blockage at the exit due to everyone wanting to leave at once. I found myself standing very close to him once again. I walked in the opposite direction as soon as I could. While walking to uni to return some library books, I was quite annoyed at myself for having not said thankyou when so many opportunities to do so were given to me that day. I love uni when there's no one there. It feels really peaceful. As it was exam time, there was no one walking around at all. So I was walking into uni as two guys were walking out. I realised one of them was the guy from my Arts subject. I stared at the ground and walked past them. Later on that day, I realised that I'd probably never see him ever again and it was stupid of me not to say thankyou or start a conversation with him. Even later on, I realised that he probably didn't even know who I was or that I existed at all; it's not as though I ever did or said anything (literally) during tutes to draw any sort of attention towards myself.

Okay, so the lesson learnt here is that all the world can give you is opportunity. You must be the one who takes the final step. The world can give you countless chances and get you within arms reach of what you want to achieve but ultimately you have to have the courage to grab it. I had so many opportunities in the one day yet I failed to act upon a single one. I once heard someone phrase it as: 'Fate can only take you so far.' There is no point moping about how you're cursed with bad luck or that guy/girl never looks at you. Someone has to take the step, why can't it be you? Instead of waiting for every thing to come neatly wrapped, you could accomplish so much more if you took the initiative to do so.

Anyway, it's getting really late. I'll blog again about the latter two topics I mentioned earlier soon; hopefully tomorrow. Until then, take care friends. :)