notes on love.

i found this piece on Facebook. it's by a friend of a friend who i've never met before in my life, that i never knew existed before clicking on the below article. so, Kylie Abena Ngu, I don't know who you are but thanks for writing this. :)

"Love is such a confounder." - Making the Cut, Dr Mohamed Khadra

It is that deep-seated unrelinquishing desire to feel connected to a fellow human being that drives one to empty out everything they have, all the energy, time, faith and trust but most importantly, all the love. You watch in medicine, how a patient puts everything they have into the hands of their doctor, how a parent fears for her child's health, her child's future, how a child aches to her bones because of the strangling uncertainty that floods the lives her parents. You see how a mother tattoos her child's name on her heart and you see how the old frail man gently envelopes his vulnerable wife's hand with his own. And a minute glimpse into what love really is presents itself.

And when you attempt to take this same limitless love and hand it over to someone else, that gut stirring fear never fails to follow. Why would you ever do it? Open yourself up, give someone the key to everything that you are, were and all your dreams of everything that you want to be? Isn't it too much of a risk to share half of everything you are with someone?

Because you think that sharing is doubling the chances of making everything you are better. Just like patients, how can the bone be fixed, how can the cancer be cured and how can the pain be alleviated if you don't share the burden with your doctor.

But what if, unlike the doctor, whoever you decide to share your life with decides to not be there tomorrow? Romantic love, relationships, it's the most unpredictable, most volatile connection between two people. You make yourself vulnerable, you lay yourself out on the racing track and you pray that the other person driving the car stops to get out, lifts you up and puts you in the seat next to him to finish the race, and you pray he doesn't drive around you and pray twice as hard he doesn't drive over you. And what if he does? Or decides to stop as the race nears its end, opens the door to tell you to get out and leave you out in the cold? 

There is no way of knowing, we're only human after all, we're fickle with our emotions. So the least you could do, is right now, empty everything you have to the person sitting in the car next to you, they stopped for you after all. I don't know how many times in a lifetime someone would stop for you, really stop for you, if any at all. So if they stopped for you and you chose to sit in the car with them, please don't look outside the window and forget who's in the car with you. I think it's the most horrible thing. It's synonymous to the doctor walking away from the all-trusting patient without even trying.

In the perfect world, everyone would find that person to sit in the car with until the end of the race and the car is overflowing with happiness and real, down to the septum love for the other person, not temporary attraction (that's always flimsy, easily snatched up by the wind).

Unfortunately, it isn't the perfect world. But without ever taking that leap, taking that risk we would all be driving solo the whole race through.

So if you're sitting next to someone, I wish you down to the septum love. Double happiness.

If you're not ready to stop for somone, maybe one day, there's no rush.

And if you've just been left out in the cold, I pray that someone else stops for you soon. They must just be taking the scenic route.