Bound

I wish I knew how to jump into the sea,
And not be troubled by how to get home.
But I cling to the map and trace my steps,
The need to feel safe is too great.

How do you let go of security and live spontaneously?
I wish I knew how.
The smallest change causes utter chaos in my mind.
I guess I'm a creature of habit.

One day I hope to live by how I feel in the moment,
And not by what I fear the moment will lead to.
It holds me back like fierce chains, an infinite puzzle.
If only I could find the key. If only I knew how.

I envy those around me who see no mystery in this.
They take risks and carve new experiences.
Some win while others fail, the outcome doesn't matter,
Dawn brings a time to do it all over again.

I want to let go of the harness and drop into the unknown,
I want to be brave enough to risk the pain and disappointment,
Because I know that lying amongst it somewhere is joy.
If only I knew how.