happy easter! :D

it's easter sunday. i hope everyone is having a wonderful long weekend full of love and happiness! :)

i just started my mid-sem break. i should really be studying. but i'm facebook stalking instead. i guess it's proof that you like someone when you get jealous of fb posts they send to other girls. and you get all suspicious when they send a lot to one particular person... and the messages could possibly be interpreted in lovey-dovey ways. yet here i sit. futile and resigned. concluding that maybe he just doesn't like asian girls. or maybe there's something about me that places me in the 'unlikable' category. but that's okay. there's plenty of fish in the sea. plus if something did happen and it ended badly, prac classes could end up extremely awkward.

that's what i tell myself anyway.

i know i said i was over it. but clearly not.

actually i really did think i was over it. then he randomly opened a fb chat box with me yesterday. and made me laugh my head off. i wish all guys were like that. i can see why he'd be popular... from a personality point of view anyhow. he's physically not amazing. pretty average. could afford to lose a tiny bit of weight. but hey, not everyone can look like gsp. he can look quite cute sometimes. and it's those moments that make me all fuzzy inside. add that to some wit that he spins out everyone and then, and i'm lost for words.

but i don't think it'll happen. i guess we'll wait and see what happens. i don't wanna spoil it. i guess winning him in the end doesn't even matter. i miss this feeling. the feeling of wanting to have someone all to yourself. i haven't had it in years and years. sometimes i try to deceive myself and pretend its happening when it really isn't. i guess i just miss those days as a 16 year old where the feeling would come and go so often. it just doesn't come along too often these days.

i also, however, do not wish to invent things in my head. i hope it doesn't blind me to his indifference. i don't want to create 'signs' or whatever from him when they're not really there. i think it's a common trap that girls will fall into. he can be so cute sometimes though...

i suppose i consciously try to restrict myself from talking to him too often. firstly because i don't want to appear too eager. and secondly, i guess its because i don't want to spoil this picture that i've drawn of him in my head.

i just realised what i'm writing and started laughing.

i've just written this post about an almost complete stranger. someone who probably doesn't even bother to think about me in their spare time. it's funny like that, isn't it?