...how much i don't want to feel this way.
he seems so very out of reach. why do i persist in these strange feelings? it hurts to see that he just doesn't feel the same way. not even a little bit.
i wish i could pull myself out of this. i know i said that i missed feeling vulnerable, but sometimes the things you miss don't live up to what you remember them to be.
stop being so likeable. i wish you weren't so tall, confident, funny, witty and smart... i wish you didn't read so much and love music with such ardour... i wish you didn't show such goodwill towards other people and sweetness towards your siblings... i wish you never quoted from children's books and never revealed to me that you watch disney cartoons... because it would be a whole lot easier to stop thinking about you like there's any possibility that something could ever happen between us.
it would've made you seem less like what i've always wanted.
we'd look so wrong together, the epitome of an odd couple, but i can't help it...
i guess you're my unicorn.
and why it hurts so much that you don't see me the same way.
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