It all started with needing a distraction...

Hi all!

I hope everyone has been well and making the most of the glorious tennis!! This entry will be of a different form to my previous entries. The reason for this is that I'm currently very frustrated with myself over my need to 'chase'... I'm not sure if there's actually been any consequences yet; it could just be in my head... Yes, confusing, I know.

If any girls are reading this then they would understand what I mean when I say that I'm currently frustrated with my need to 'chase.' I acknowledged awhile ago that I have this common-female mental problem and told myself not to get attached because it usually doesn't mean anything but I can't tell if it does this time...? I feel so confused and vulnerable...

I felt like writing anyways so I'm going to just put random stuff on here about what kind of things I like, etc.

RANT ON SHOES.

I thought I'd start off with shoes. My fascination and admiration of heels have increased exponentially over the past 6 months. Peep Toe Shoes have some of the nicest shoes I've seen ever since my infatuation started... They look amazing! Here are two lovely examples:

The 'Miss Castle Hill' design

The 'Miss Dazzle' design

The disadvantages of their shoes include that the majority of them sport a painful 12cm heel and have zero flexibility in the sole. This equals UNBEARABLE PAIN and is the reason I have not yet invested in a pair. An interesting collaboration of companies has been the Melissa and Vivienne Westwood collection. They created unique and quirky designs which are definitely not for everyone but perfect for those who wish to stand out in the crowd. I have some friends who are happy owners of this design called 'Lady Dragon Love Heart':

... They're so cute!! :D

RANT ON MUSIC.

Those who know me will know that I am a music loving freak. I would like to say that I have versatile taste, ranging from classical to the occasion bit of pop and RnB to a lot of alternative/indie/punk. Here are a few of my favourite artists:

• Keith Jarrett: this jazz/classical inspired pianist performed predominately in the 80's and is the genius behind my favourite instrumental album entitled 'The Melody At Night, With You.' An incredible collection of sweet melancholy melodies, Keith Jarrett manages to express feelings so perfectly without words. Two of my favourite tracks from the album are 'Don't Ever Leave Me' and 'I'm Through With Love'. Having said that and scanning through the album, I love each melody so much! Everyone should give this album a listen!
• Alicia Keys: my main inspiration to play piano for as long as I did. Brimming with so much pure talent and gift, Alicia Keys is a representation of what I believe RnB should truly be about. Her first album, 'Songs in A Minor', consisted of snippets of her talent and versatility. A brilliant album with strong soul and jazz influences yet I found it not to work as well as the albums that came after it as a whole. 'The Diary Of Alicia Keys' was a classic RnB album. Full of tales of yearning and love, it had a consistent feel and was the album I'd listen to before I went to bed for well over a year. Her Unplugged album kept fans happy as they waited anxiously for a new record. Her rendition of 'Wild Horses' was simply amazing and never seems to receive the credit it deserves. 'As I Am' had an extremely un-Alicia-Keys feel to it (with the exception, perhaps, of 'No One'); the piano wasn't as prominent and it had a very 'trying-to-break-into-mainstream' feel about it. Her latest album 'The Element of Freedom' is really quite amazing. Powerful and uplifting, the first time I listened to it in full I couldn't help but think this was the album I had waited for from her since the beginning. Wonderful.
• The Vines: my favourite band because last.fm says so. A brilliant mashup of garage and psychedelic rock, these guys always have me on my feet and swaying my arms around in the air like a hippie. Yes, their fourth album 'Melodia' was disastrous but their other three albums are pure genius.
• Tegan and Sara: my current favourite alternative/indie artists. I'm just so jealous of their talent. Anyone who hasn't listened to them really should. Unusual at first but strangely addictive... and before you know it, you've got a minor obsession with them... which then grows into something that takes over your mind and you just can't stop listening to them. I also really love the shoes they've released through skate brand 'Macbeth'.

I was going to include a rant on tv shows because I've lately spent a lot of time with my television and have rediscovered my love for random shows but I'm getting really sleepy (it's 1:44am)... I will write another entry soon when I don't feel so sleepy and when I'm feeling more like me again. Take care!

'I'm gonna make it by any means, I've got a pocket full of dreams...'

It all started with something someone said...

Hi friends!

Here I am in bed, on my trusty Macbook Pro (MAC > PC) at 2:33am. Why? I just felt the need to write. In case anyone was wondering, nothing has changed since my previous entries and that's still how I feel. I've been having a fairly comfortable break from the hectic schedule of uni by keeping to myself and being typically 'hermit-ish.'

Tonight's entry is sparked by something an acquaintance said. This person is not a close friend. We met through a mutual friend. We have been talking a lot lately compared to how much we have been during our two year acquaintance. Anyway, I recently noticed how much this person obeys the orders of others. By this I don't mean when someone asks them to get them a drink or drive them somewhere. I'm talking about how to think, who they're allowed to talk to, what music they listen to, etc. which is not usually something that should be defined by others. For example, I asked them if they listened to a particular band and they replied saying, 'No, because so-and-so refuses to give me that band's albums.' On another occasion, they met someone at a gathering and was 'interested' in them. They were later told that they shouldn't get to know this person better with no given reason and they obeyed. This really got me thinking... because this particular person is just so nice, funny, easy-going and awesome, it seemed odd that they had this (for lack of a better word) flaw in their personality.

I started thinking about how we're unknowingly forced to follow the demands and live upto the expectations of society and our peers. I studied a subject at uni last semester called 'Introduction to Political Ideas' that detailed many schools of thought and their application to politics. The schools of thought studied included: communism, socialism, ecologism, liberalism, marxism, anarchism, nationalism and feminism. Even though I studied their ways of thinking, I never really saw myself leaning towards one more than another. Some days I would feel more like a feminist, others an ecologist. It wasn't until that acquaintance made those comments that I realised how much of a liberalist I am. Liberalists believe that in order to reach one's potential, one should be free from the expectations of the government and society. Just because one person's way of life works for them doesn't mean that it will work for everyone else. By conforming to the path that society paves for us, we cannot fully develop our minds and think 'outside the box' to reach our full potential. While liberalists think that the government should be feared because they exercise too much control over the masses because of all the laws that put in place, your peers are even more dangerous because humans usually have an innate need to be accepted. In order to be accepted into a group of friends or even society, you have to conform. You must dress a certain way, think a certain way, behave a certain way. This limits your personal development. By succumbing to your need of being accepted, you are unable to become who you truly want to be.

I always try to suppress a laugh when I see someone copying someone else in order to be friends with them. The worst reason to do or not do something is because of what someone else will think. It's the same thing when it comes to opinions. I will conclude tonight's entry with a quote from a song by a band called 'The Rocket Summer:'

"Do you even know what you're even saying? Or are you just saying it because someone else said it?"