we need more monkeys!

hello dear readers!

i'm currently writing from Newcastle, my home for the next 2.5 weeks, so this will just be a short entry.

Weather was just lovely today so we went to the park. It's a good 5-6 degrees warmer up here than in Melbourne. My niece and nephew's brand new gumboots came home all muddy! :D


I felt the need to express gratitude and affection to those people in general that just always make the effort with me. I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to understand. I truly am grateful for those that not only put up with me but take the extra step in trying to maintain a relationship regardless of what the circumstances may be. Some people just can't be bothered these days or pretend to get close just because they want something. There's only a handful of you out there whose friendship actually means something to me so I feel so privileged to know you guys will always be there. Many, many thanks! You should know who you are. :)

I do strive to be as independent as possible. Things happen over time to make you realise that just because you have all these people who talk to you doesn't mean that they always care about you. You get to a point where you depend on them so much. When you finally realise them for what and who they are, you immediately try to escape. Then you just feel so alone and lost. I don't know where I'd be without a few special people. Special shout-out to k. nguyen! Even though she doesn't know this blog is here.

I'm eternally in debt to those few people I know that I can always rely on. Thanks so much! ♥

I hope everyone is well! I'll write again soon!

xx.

When your head is in a certain place... Nobody around to make you safe. Stand strong and you will grow. - Wait Til You See My Smile by Alicia Keys

belated taylor swift fever.

VAMOS ESPANA!! :D

Hi everyone!

Yes, as you can tell, I'm extremely happy that Spain won the Cup; they totally deserved it! I was even happier when I heard Thomas Mueller of Germany won Golden Boot and Young Player of the Tournament! Recipients of the awards were most deserving of them. :D And so, my football fever returns to its dormant state till the next World Cup but it really has been an amazing month! :)

Holidays have been a bit different. An aunty from overseas has been staying over and another aunt's kids have been coming over a lot too so it's not the usual quiet break that I'm used to. I had my first quiet day today which was really lovely. My room is looking pretty clean so I'm pretty happy about that too. Cleaning the study is on the agenda for tomorrow. :)

Anyway, I just had the sudden urge to listen to 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift. As much as I believe Taylor Swift to be completely overrated and in much need of a sandwich, this song puts a smile on my face. Yes, I know it's not a happy song but I think it's definitely relatable. There must be so many people out there, girls and guys inclusive, that have gone through that awful period where you know you have absolutely no chance with someone because you're competing with people who look a certain way or are more 'popular'. The scenario always has the same recipe. Let's use the girl formula. Girl meets boy. He's perfect. They have everything in common. She believes that she has a chance. Next thing she knows, he's going out with some other girl who is so much more attractive/cool/popular/rich/etc. than she is. It's the same sort of situation as the Katy Perry song I mentioned a couple of blogs ago. That damned 'sibling' status. I think 90% of girls I know have complained to me about being in this situation.

I think it's so wrong that people think they have to change how they look to bring attention to their personality.

I would elaborate but I'm getting sleepy. Electric blanket awesomeness. :D So I'll leave you with the video of the song along with a few lines of lyrics. Actually, I'll leave most of the lyrics. They tell a great story. :)

I hope everyone is well. :)

xx.








You're on the phone with your girlfriend,
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said,
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do.

I'm in the room,
It's a typical Tuesday night,
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like,
She'll never know your story like I do...

But she wears short skirts,
I wear t-shirts,
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers,
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find,
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time...

Walking the streets with you and your worn out jeans,
I can't help thinking, 'This is how it ought to be...'
Laughing on a park bench,
Thinking to myself, 'Hey, isn't this easy?'

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town,
I haven't seen it in awhile since she brought you down,
You say you're fine,
I know you better than that,
Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why can't you see,
You belong with me.
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor,
All this time, how could you not know?
You belong with me.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night,
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry,
And I know your favorite songs,
And you tell me about your dreams,
Think I know where you belong...
Think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why can't you see,
You belong with me.

Have you ever thought, just maybe,
You belong with me?



You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift

won't you get some air in this room?

Hi everyone!

I hope all is well and those of you on break from school are making the most of absent early mornings and late nights studying. I really did think that, because holidays have started, I'd blog much more often but really its sort of been the same. There's been a fair amount of stuff on my mind lately so over the next few days it'll probably all come rolling out on here.

First off, today has been frustrating due to an acquaintance who just can't get the hint that they're the most moody and mentally-straining person I've ever met in my life. I just feel like saying: 'Maybe if you just chill out and stop thinking about things so much then you won't be upset and angry at something every other day. Stop getting angry at people for no reason. It's silly.'

Extremely frustrating.

But do you know what?

I'm very much over chasing the good-opinion of those whose opinion don't amount to much anyway.
If people are nice to me then I'm nice to them. if you're mean to me then don't expect me to be nice to you. I won't necessarily be mean but I definitely won't make too much of an effort with you. Don't talk to me? Then I won't talk to you. Simple, really.



I had dinner the other night with some girls from high school and I couldn't help but observe how people change so easily. Or maybe they were always like that but I couldn't see it. There's only one person from high school that I keep regular contact with and consider still as one of my closest friends. My year12 self would probably be surprised. We were always close but towards the final years there were others that I was much closer to. When I randomly bump into these other girls, it's like they don't want to talk. Personal jokes and memories that we used to laugh about are barely remembered or acknowledged with a less than convincing 'oh yeah... haha...' It's funny how things change. It's funny when you realise who were really your friends and who just went along with it because they happened to be there. I know it's been 18 months but for some reason I struggle to let go. Sentimental much?



On a lighter note, I got a lovely new white bookcase for my room! It's square and made up of 16 smaller squares. I got a red box and small door along with some red drawers to go into a few of the squares. It was a shame that I only bought one box... I realised earlier today that I probably need another two. Sigh. But it looks really nice! I'll have to start cleaning up all my stuff soon... Definitely before I head up to Newcastle.

Spending time with K. Nguyen tomorrow (Wednesday; technically today). Even though I just saw her Monday night. I really don't know what I'd do without her. :)

Yes, I'm writing this post at this completely ridiculous hour because my sleep pattern has been messed up.
Uruguay vs. Netherlands in less than 1.5 hours. It's logical to stay up but then it's not...?
I should really add pictures to my posts... Give a bit more feeling to it. Next time. :)


Anyway, I'll post again very soon!
xx.



Nobody's singing about you anymore. You thought you heard it? Well, you must've heard wrong. - As You Cry by the Hush Sound

Sentimental Heart

Cried all night 'til there was nothing more,

What use am I as a heap on the floor?

Human Devotion but it's just no good,

Taking it hard just like you know I would.

Old habits die hard when you got, when you got a sentimental heart.

Piece of the puzzle, you're my missing part

Oh, what can you do with a sentimental heart?

Sentimental Heart - She & Him

Hi everyone!

I hope all is well even though the sky is gloomy outside. I'm slightly depressed yet amused at the same time... Just passed my Witches subject. I knew I wasn't going to do great on it but I don't know what I could've done to that last essay to make it any better and that just frustrates me. I know I did the best that I could've done at that time but it puzzles me wondering about what I did wrong. Oh well, at least I passed! I'll just have to work on raising my average next semester. Major sigh but :) at the same time.

I've been listening to 'She & Him' non-stop over the last 24 hours. It's really addictive. I've become a softie in my old age. I love the light indie folk sound at the moment. It's almost therapeutic. 'She & Him' is fronted by Zooey Deschanel the actress, who I think is one of the prettiest people in the world. She's just so cute! The music is just the same. Incredibly cute and pretty... I fell asleep to it last night. :D

I've been kept inside all holidays because my small cousins keep coming over. It gets a bit irritating, really. Ahh, great. My cousin's hacking away at my lolly jar for her kids. Her kids, the most hyperactive kids I've ever known. Whoo. =="

Last night I found out that I'm meant to go back to uni on July 26. I'm in Newcastle till the 31st. I swear I read somewhere that I didn't go back till the beginning of August. Sigh.

I feel even more withdrawn now that I'm at home with no uni. Sometimes I don't really feel like talking to anyone and other days I feel like I really need someone to talk to. It gets confusing. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. I don't even know who I am and that's the biggest problem of all. Am I listening to this music because I actually like it or because people have told me that I should like it? Do I really enjoy reading or have I tricked myself into believing that I do? I don't know anymore.

Yes, this was pessimistic-me writing this post.

I need to buy new shoes.

xx.