hey everyone!
i'm so sorry i've been away for so long! i completely neglected my poor little blog! :(
a lot has happened but not very much has changed.
i sat here tonight feeling that life is very empty. so empty to the point that it actually bothered me. to the point where i needed to write something about it. it's just... empty. people come and go.
everything transient, nothing permanent.
how do we do it? how do we put up with this change and uncertainty? why do we put up with it?
it makes me feel so insecure that my life holds so little. i found things to hate in friends i used to love so they became strangers. the other night i went to a birthday and the room was filled with these people. it almost felt like they each had a signpost above theirs heads reminding me how i got to the point of not knowing them anymore. 'oh yes, that's right, he stole his friend's girlfriend. ah, she was the one who suddenly thought she was better than everyone else because she lost a few kilos. and that's the one who randomly stopped talking to me once she started dating my cousin. oh, better stay away from him, he tried to feel me up last time i had a few drinks...'
i know that 99.99% of people that you meet in life become strangers once more, but it makes life so uncomfortable to live. it makes me feel inadequate. it makes me feel hated and unloved. it makes me feel empty. surrounded yet alone. not lonely. just alone.
