Monday, March 29, 2010

Joy

I’m going in search of the adventure of being alive.

And it’s complicated: why am I not looking for happiness when everyone has taught me that happiness is the only goal worth pursuing?

Why am i going to risk taking a path that no one else is taking?After all, what is happiness?

Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness.

On the contrary, its a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; its sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstacy and agony.All right then, peace.

Peace? If we look at the Mother, she’s never at peace. The winter does battle with the summer, the sun and d moon never meet, the tiger chases the man, who’s afraid of the dog, who chases the cat, who chases the mouse, who frightens the man.

Money brings happiness. Fine. In that case, everyone who earns enough to have a high standard of living would be able to stop work. But then they’re more troubled than ever, as if they were afraid of losing everything. Money attracts money, that’s true. Poverty might bring unhappiness, but money wont necessarily bring happiness.I spent a lot of my life looking for happiness, now what i want is joy.

Joy is like sex – it begins and ends. I want pleasure. I want to be contended, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap.


Paulo Coelho

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

lost.

you get to a point in time where you realise that you're simply lost. there's just no other way to explain it. what are you doing? why are you here? you feel perplexed even when asked for what makes you happy. who knows. i don't.

you feel empty. soulless. sitting in a boat, sailing to no destination. but then why sail in the first place? why put that foot into the boat? at first you think that you just prefer the solitude. and you do. you prefer it but it doesn't make you happy. being with others definitely doesn't either. that makes you even less happy.

you're stuck in limbo. feeling displaced. a disembodied eye. you belong but you're detached. you're the piece of the puzzle that will never fit.

so how are you meant to feel? well, luckily you can't feel anything. and no one cares about how you feel either.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Watch The Sky.

I'm lost at sea.
The radio is jamming but they won't find me.
I swear it's for the best... and then your frequency is pulling me in closer till I'm home.
And I've been up for days, I finally lost my mind.
And then I lost my way, I'm blistered but I'm better...
and I'm home.

This room's too small... it's only getting smaller.
Up against the wall, I'm slowly getting taller.
In this wonderland, your skin feels so familiar...
and I'm home.

And I think I... I could use a little break...
Today was a good day.
And I think I... I could use a little break...
But today was a good day.

It's a deep sea, in which I'm floating, and still I sink to think that I must crawl...

There's things that are worth giving up I know...
When you can't bare to carry me.
I'll fight, you live the life you're given with the storms outside.
Somedays all I do is watch the sky.
- Something Corporate.