om nom nom nom...

hi all!

i just had dinner and thought i'd do something non-study before i knuckle down and cram for a awhile. my mum made beef pho. i'm not supposed to eat it with my beef allergy and all but, seeing as though there wasn't anything else, i didn't have much of a choice. she actually made it for lunch but i had mi goreng then instead. so yeah... i'm expecting to wake up tomorrow with a nasty rash. :(

i thought today i'd talk about bridges. yep. bridges. lots of people use bridges as a sort of metaphor for moving on. i completely agree. you move on because you know that there's nothing left to do. you've done your best and for some reason or another, things didn't work out your way. it's simply time to move on.

of course, the bridge is always open. you can run back at anytime. but is there any point? you've been there, done that and it didn't work out. why are you going back?

i think once you've moved forward over the bridge, you need to stop thinking about what you've left behind. focus forward and not behind. things will never bother if you don't think about them. what has happened has happened. regret is nothing.

everything that happens in our lives helps to shape us into the people we are, regardless of whether it made you happy or sad at the time. it's a compound effect. you are what you've experienced. accept it as another moment in your life of infinite moments.

cross that bridge and remember not to run back. everything that has happened has been filmed as a memory. that's enough.

on a completely different note, study is killing me. i've only just come to realise that a week is not enough time to somehow cram the last month of semester and revise everything from the beginning. but wish me luck! :)

xx.

it's crunch time!

hello friends!

this is just a quick drop by (that will probably end up long as per usual) to say hello and post random things.

food blog will be delayed till the end of the coming week. booking issues. :S

umm umm... exams are coming up! and i'm terribly underprepared! like, seriously! i'm not one of those people who are all like 'oh, i don't know anything at all! i haven't studied this entire week!' when they've actually spent a good few hours every day studying like mad and end up with H1's for everything. no, when i say that i haven't studied, i literally HAVE NOT STUDIED. at the moment, i'm about 7-8 lectures behind in two of my subjects and have an essay due for another. i'm yet to start the essay but i have this really creepy feeling that i'm gonna forget to do it amongst all my science subjects. :\

on a completely different note, i have all these things i want to buy! even though i have no money. and kinda don't work. hrmm. but i thought i'd list some here so that then when i have the money i'll remember to buy them. :)

- find vintage grandma pixie lace-up boots

- a few pairs of cheap mondays

- more tights

- visit the strange perfumery on brunswick st

- daria

- jostein gaarder's new book

- a floppy backpack

- a thick plain coloured cardigan and a thick patterned one

- flats; i've killed all mine.

i'm sure i had more than that... but oh wells!

i also booked flights to go visit my brother during the midyear break for 2.5 weeks. love getting away from melbourne. :)

karla deras apparently chopped all her hair off. i'm excited to see what she did. i may copy. her previous hairstyle was exactly like mine. :D

anyways, it's getting late (12:16am). i'm gonna try to get a bit more study done... ORRRR go to bed. the latter sounds good to me.

FAVOURITE ITEM I OWN AT THE MOMENT (FIIOATM): stripey plum coloured country road tights.

vintage star

Hello all!

This is me procrastinating on any sort of actual work. :)

I thought I'd take on a lighter tone with this entry and discuss something a bit different. No, it's not the first addition to my food component of the blog; that'll hopefully be in by next weekend. I wanted to discuss a strange and uncharacteristically-me hobby of mine.

fashion blogs.

i have a total weakness for fashion blogs. i love reading them. and i am probably one of the last people in the world that is in anyway 'fashion forward'. i just find reading them really interesting!

it started off as just looking up interesting short hair styles for women because i like changing my hair a lot... but fashion blogs really are just so good to read. why? i wouldn't have a clue.

i stumbled across a new one today while looking up carey mulligan's short pixie crop (which is gorgeous!). it's written by a young lady named Karla Deras who has a wonderful sense of fashion. she mainly wears vintage clothing matched with some seriously hot (and expensive) shoes. i've never been more inspired to go vintage!

I thought i'd add some of her pictures on here... i just randomly chose these and for some random reason they all came out quite small? but there are heaps more on her blog (they're also larger images)!

This first one is majorly hot.

The grungeyness of this outfit is really really cool... I looked up that bag that she designed and it's $350. :/

I just adore this trench coat. I have to buy one soon...

i love this outfit! i have no idea when i could ever get away with wearing it but it's really pretty! and those shoes are hottt!

i love the balance of shape in this one... the upper body is loose and wide while she's chosen a tighter fit on the bottom. i love those pants! i want them!!

but yeah. just thought i'd mix things up a bit! :)

her fashion blog is karlascloset.com and it's really worth the visit!

off to study. x

go away.

i'm so over making an effort with people. they always end up shoving you to the side. screw you.

on a lighter note, i feel liking adding food blogs here... wouldn't that be nice? :)

yes, this post is due to my slowly depleting sanity... it's 3:01am and i'm listening to a biochem lecture...? someone please stop me.

but yeah. screw people.

THE RULES.

Never let anyone tell you what to be.

Do not conform to social convention just because it's a social convention and everyone else is doing it.

Keep your eyes open and live how you want to live.

You will never experience joy until you experience what it feels like to be perfectly comfortable in your own skin.

Accept who you are for exactly what you are.

Do and say things because they are your own thoughts and not because it's what others want to hear.

Divided.

I don't want to live my life like a story,

Always thinking I could've been something.

Don't run alongside and control me.

Just film away and let me be.

T&S

my non-existent love life.

Hi all!

So, it's 9:25am and i'm already in the biomed library. No forms of public transport were kind to me this morning, so i only got to uni 1o minutes ago. no point going to my witches tute if i've already missed a third of it. kinda annoying actually.

anyways... so as usual, i'm all confused and feeling like out of all the guys i talk to, there should be someone that i'm 'interested' in. but then it's like, does it really matter? some girls get so caught up in it and it really doesn't make you any wiser. there's probably three guys at the moment that i'd say i'm sort of semi-interested in... but really, i have no clue. i can't remember what it feels like to really just want to be with someone. i don't think i've felt that way towards a guy since i was like... 15? which is so very sad, i know. even with the guys now, i find it hard to distinguish whether i have a sibling affection for them, whether they're just fun to talk to and to keep as company, or whether there's anything more.

it's not hard to make me 'semi-interested'. i feel that way towards most guys if they're nice to me when i talk to them. it's keeping me interested that's the hard part. i'm an anti-social, isolated child so i like my own space and doing my own thing. some guys just really don't get that and become all stifling and clingy. i can't hack that. i really can't. hence i've been through many 'getting-to-know-you' phases that just end because i feel too suffocated. i think people would me 'low-maintanence' seeing as though i don't like the guy being there all the time. then again, i'm yet to get close to someone that i like so much to the point where i just always want them around.

i don't believe in hints. they don't work with me because i can never pick them up. even when i do, i think it's all in my head so then it's not really a hint at all.

so what do i look for? what every other girl looks for: funny, smart, good-looking if possible... it's all so generic yet unique to every individual what you find attractive. it's impossible to find someone without flaws. it's whether or not you can learn to bear with them. i think about the three guys mentioned above and here are my thoughts on each.

1. positives: funny, smart, dresses well, nice, really cute, similar cultural background, a number of interests in common. negatives: i get the vibe that this guy would just be soooo clingy that it's seriously off-putting, he's a fair bit of a man-slut (ahahaha!), usually likes very asian-y girls.

2. positives: funny, dresses well, nice, good-looking, known each other since childhood, a person i can trust, really nice family, same cultural background. negatives: known each other since childhood, rolls in a very different crowd, usually likes very asian-y girls.

3. positives: funny, nice, similar interests and sense of humour. negatives: many, different cultural background; there's nothing wrong with him but there would definitely be a lot of things getting in the way if we became anything more than friends.

there. in a week's time, i'll probably look at this and laugh. i'm so silly. but boys are sillier. to the point where i just don't really want to think about them altogether.

so that's my non-existent love-life. :)

And darling...

Came across this old Tegan and Sara song, 'And Darling...' that's just so beautifully simple that I had to post it. Sweetest melody. ... I'm way too easily affected by music. 'I Know, I Know, I Know' always makes me feel funny inside too...

Their hair looks so old school and funny in the picture used below. I love them so much. :)

Just wonderful.

what am i doing?

hello friends.

i'm at home this morning because Metro decided to cancel all the trains coming past all the stations close to me. hooray. ... i don't know if that was sarcastic or not, you can decide. :)

i've been thinking quite hard over the last week about studying (note that i wasn't actually studying but just thinking about it), and i've been wondering if i really should be doing what i'm doing. as in, i've never known anything outside of science but i'm not too sure if it makes me happy. sometimes i'll sit staring at my macbook for hours and hours and not get any studying done because i just simply dislike what i'm meant to be learning. vce was absolute hell for me and i wasn't aware that i had signed myself up for a three year extension of it. it just isn't where i want to be.

i read a friend's blog this morning and they said that now was the time to study and not think about other things like relationships etc.

first off, i'm not one to think about relationships so that's really not a big deal for me.

but why am i busting my chops doing something that i don't like, in the hopes of getting into some course afterwards which will only further extend how long i have to study for? a lot of people say that you're miserable while you're studying but you have to think long-term: eventually you'll have a well-paying job. but what makes you think that's going to make me happy?

we're basically miserable because we're studying to hopefully extend our years of study (which can only make you more miserable) to end up with a job that MIGHT make us happy with the amount of money that it may or may not bring us. since when did we follow the social convention so strictly that what feels right doesn't matter anymore?

i remember reading something that lily allen said. most people's lives are divided into three parts. the first part of our lives is education. we go to school to learn and be taught what to do for stage two. stage two involves working. it is the eventual fruit of the hard work of stage one and it's purpose is to accumulate money for stage three. stage three is retirement, where we spend all the money that we've made in our lives and make the most of life. it's a shame that by the time we get to stage three we'll be so worn out and old and burdened by everything else that's happened along the way to really enjoy anything at all. and thus, our lives have been wasted.

i really don't know what to do anymore. how confusing!