procrastination skills, LEVEL UP!

i'm supposed to be writing an essay but my procrastination skills have gotten just so damn good that i've wasted half a day doing random things, like wash my work shirts and watch youtube videos. =="

my essay topic is:

 Is the ‘rule and exemption’ approach to issues of cultural diversity a means of making liberalism and multiculturalism compatible?


It's an interesting topic and I guess I'm split on it. It's hard to apply liberalist values and encourage individualism while trying to treat everyone equally. Rule and exemption. The more I think about it, the more confused I get about my own opinion. To treat a person as an individual is to allow freedom of expression, whatever that expression may be. Rules are then set up to limit this freedom from harming other people. Regulations are made that should really apply to everyone. But some groups claim exemption based on cultural grounds and society often allows this. The group becomes exempt from the rule that everyone else abides by and this creates an uneven playing field. We can only be equal as individuals if the rules that we abide by are all the same. So, I guess my contention is that the rule and exemption theory doesn't really work if its aim is to make liberalism and multiculturalism compatible... I need to read more about it before I make up my mind. :S


I hope everyone is well! I'm trying to blog more often, as you can tell. :)


updations: i think he's a serial flirt artist. :/

updations!

he's cute. but not as cute as he seemed the other day for some reason. facebook add has been done. comfortably commenting back and forth. very much distracted from researching my essay. it's dark outside. i'm scared to walk to the tram stop...

xx

comforting

there's something wonderfully comforting about the sound of the heating system coming on while i sit at my desk in the study with my vintage yellow desk lamp turned on and wearing my pink jumper. i don't know why but it makes me feel so incredibly safe and snug.

i guess i've spent so many cold days/evenings/nights like this that it's become a comfort zone for me. :)

Bound

I wish I knew how to jump into the sea,
And not be troubled by how to get home.
But I cling to the map and trace my steps,
The need to feel safe is too great.

How do you let go of security and live spontaneously?
I wish I knew how.
The smallest change causes utter chaos in my mind.
I guess I'm a creature of habit.

One day I hope to live by how I feel in the moment,
And not by what I fear the moment will lead to.
It holds me back like fierce chains, an infinite puzzle.
If only I could find the key. If only I knew how.

I envy those around me who see no mystery in this.
They take risks and carve new experiences.
Some win while others fail, the outcome doesn't matter,
Dawn brings a time to do it all over again.

I want to let go of the harness and drop into the unknown,
I want to be brave enough to risk the pain and disappointment,
Because I know that lying amongst it somewhere is joy.
If only I knew how.

I LOVE OATS!

i stopped by the supermarket after uni to pick up a box of oats. i've been craving them so badly, especially with this cold weather.

simply cannot WAIT for breakfast tomorrow! :D

xx

calm before the storm

hi everyone!

i know it has been a terribly long LONG time since i last posted but i've just been really busy with so much! i hope everyone has been well! this post is a catch-up as well as a vent one so expect it to be fairly long...

so i'm back at uni. the gamsat was a few weeks ago. it wasn't really hard nor easy but i can't really gage how i went; guess i'll just have to wait for results. the plan is to apply for dentistry at UoM as well as nursing there. i was actually quite settled on nursing for quite some time but then decided to sit the gammy anyway just incase i changed my mind. i guess it was a good idea. i'm now also considering USyd more seriously because of the limited numbers of CSP places available at UoM. i think my chances of getting a FFP at UoM are higher but that's 50k a year. USyd seems to have many CSPs so by my not very accurate calculations, it would be cheaper overall to go to USyd than stay at UoM under a FFP. ... *cough*. yeah, i don't know. i'll keep you posted! ;)

anyway, the REAL reason that i felt the need to write today is because of this: i think i'm thinking about a guy more than i think about most guys.

i'll give you a little moment to absorb that.

he's funny and cute in a totally daggy way, doesn't dress fancy, he somehow remembers my name, lets me call him by the most awesome nickname ever. but i find that i try to avoid talking to him sometimes. i guess it's just my natural reaction when i feel like i'm starting to like a guy. this sounds really silly, but he reminds me of mn. witty and smart, they have really similar mannerisms and it almost scares me. i had a very brief and somewhat uncomfortable chat (on my side anyways) and found out that he volunteers to teach international students english. i think my heart skipped a beat. it really was like meeting a caucasian version of mn. and that scares me. i just don't want another long and pointless phase of being completely infatuated with someone i can't have. with someone that i don't even know if i want to have. the mn phase was terrible though useful at the time. but now i don't know what to do. do i make an effort to talk to him more? do i sit back and let him do the work? but what if he doesn't notice me like that? am i obliged to put in that extra effort to get myself noticed and distinguished? what happens if he doesn't turn out to be who i thought he was?

and ALAS, i fall into the same helpless pattern as previous.

i know they say you shouldn't think too much about these things and that you should just let it run its course but at the same time, it feels like that is the complete opposite of what i should be doing. the feeling i get about this guy doesn't feel like the fake feelings i had towards j1 or j2... it's more like mn feelings before i completely lost the plot and over obsessed.

i guess the worst part of this is that i don't really have anyone to talk to about it, which makes me sad. during the mn era, i used to talk to ab but i can't do that anymore. kn and ky are very busy so i don't want to disturb them; i mean, they have enough on their plates as it is.

i just feel restless about it all. go back two years and i would've just tried everything i could to get this guy's attention. but i tried that during the j1 phase and that was just a plain bad idea because i had no idea who he was before i jumped in.

as a reader of HJNTIY, i should just be restraining myself and not doing anything. it has taken enormous amounts of willpower to not add this guy on fb. seriously!

but then i sat and thought about it. a guy so awesome cannot possibly be on the market. or maybe he bats for the other team ala mn style. i have NO IDEA what i would do if the latter were true.

he's really sweet! i'd hate to lose him to someone else. but to start something then have it fall apart would be really terrible too. we have subjects together. :(

i guess i've never been much of a risk taker... he just seems super sweet. he wants to be a lawyer. AWWWW!!! but sigh. i just don't know what to do.

i guess first up, i need to find out if he's available.

i'll keep you updated!

COMMENTS ARE WELCOME! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE ADVICE!

xx

major lustage

something else never fails to impress me...

i love this...



sorry for the lack of posts lately! i've had a lot on my plate. back to normal soon! xx.