"The only way I'd learn to love is if I found it on my own."
Life of Leaving Home - Yellowcard
Monday, May 2, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
i'll be fine without you.
and it clicks. it shouldn't matter whether or not this guy gives me attention. i'm going to be fine without it and life will continue as it always has.
it is currently 7:32pm. i'm still at the bailieu. will be here til 10-11pm - ish. surprisingly getting a bit done. 2 pharm lectures down, i want to get through 1 more. they take simply forever to go through! it takes me close to two hours to get through one 1 hour lecture... at least i'm understanding more of it now. :)
starting to get hungry. which is slightly worrying because i don't think anything at uni is open at this hour. :S
i'll just have to bite my lip and deal with it. THAT'S RIGHT. i'm building a tough skin! or trying to anyways. haha...
YOU WANNA PLAY THIS GAME!? BRING IT ON!
edit (7:45pm) : omgosh. he reads. he READS! it's like someone is purposely making this hard for me to let go... :(
it is currently 7:32pm. i'm still at the bailieu. will be here til 10-11pm - ish. surprisingly getting a bit done. 2 pharm lectures down, i want to get through 1 more. they take simply forever to go through! it takes me close to two hours to get through one 1 hour lecture... at least i'm understanding more of it now. :)
starting to get hungry. which is slightly worrying because i don't think anything at uni is open at this hour. :S
i'll just have to bite my lip and deal with it. THAT'S RIGHT. i'm building a tough skin! or trying to anyways. haha...
YOU WANNA PLAY THIS GAME!? BRING IT ON!
edit (7:45pm) : omgosh. he reads. he READS! it's like someone is purposely making this hard for me to let go... :(
loaded lyric #1
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart... I'm hopelessly hopeful you're just hopeless enough...
I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Up - Fall Out Boy (2006)
I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Up - Fall Out Boy (2006)
one song.
about a girl. can't breathe when i'm around her.
i had forgotten how much i enjoy listening to the academy is... :)
currently at uni, even though i'm on break. i thought i'd try to study up here instead...? maybe it'll be more effective? *COUGH*
i plan to be sitting here till 7:45pm.
there's a dodgy looking asian man sitting a few carrells down from me... he's just got a camera out and he's taking photos of pages from books. TRES DODGY.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
somebody please stop me.
please stop me from obsessing over this. i hate myself for doing it. it makes my behaviour so irratic...!
he's so clearly not interested.
he's so clearly not interested.
happy easter! :D
it's easter sunday. i hope everyone is having a wonderful long weekend full of love and happiness! :)
i just started my mid-sem break. i should really be studying. but i'm facebook stalking instead. i guess it's proof that you like someone when you get jealous of fb posts they send to other girls. and you get all suspicious when they send a lot to one particular person... and the messages could possibly be interpreted in lovey-dovey ways. yet here i sit. futile and resigned. concluding that maybe he just doesn't like asian girls. or maybe there's something about me that places me in the 'unlikable' category. but that's okay. there's plenty of fish in the sea. plus if something did happen and it ended badly, prac classes could end up extremely awkward.
that's what i tell myself anyway.
i know i said i was over it. but clearly not.
actually i really did think i was over it. then he randomly opened a fb chat box with me yesterday. and made me laugh my head off. i wish all guys were like that. i can see why he'd be popular... from a personality point of view anyhow. he's physically not amazing. pretty average. could afford to lose a tiny bit of weight. but hey, not everyone can look like gsp. he can look quite cute sometimes. and it's those moments that make me all fuzzy inside. add that to some wit that he spins out everyone and then, and i'm lost for words.
but i don't think it'll happen. i guess we'll wait and see what happens. i don't wanna spoil it. i guess winning him in the end doesn't even matter. i miss this feeling. the feeling of wanting to have someone all to yourself. i haven't had it in years and years. sometimes i try to deceive myself and pretend its happening when it really isn't. i guess i just miss those days as a 16 year old where the feeling would come and go so often. it just doesn't come along too often these days.
i also, however, do not wish to invent things in my head. i hope it doesn't blind me to his indifference. i don't want to create 'signs' or whatever from him when they're not really there. i think it's a common trap that girls will fall into. he can be so cute sometimes though...
i suppose i consciously try to restrict myself from talking to him too often. firstly because i don't want to appear too eager. and secondly, i guess its because i don't want to spoil this picture that i've drawn of him in my head.
i just realised what i'm writing and started laughing.
i've just written this post about an almost complete stranger. someone who probably doesn't even bother to think about me in their spare time. it's funny like that, isn't it?
i just started my mid-sem break. i should really be studying. but i'm facebook stalking instead. i guess it's proof that you like someone when you get jealous of fb posts they send to other girls. and you get all suspicious when they send a lot to one particular person... and the messages could possibly be interpreted in lovey-dovey ways. yet here i sit. futile and resigned. concluding that maybe he just doesn't like asian girls. or maybe there's something about me that places me in the 'unlikable' category. but that's okay. there's plenty of fish in the sea. plus if something did happen and it ended badly, prac classes could end up extremely awkward.
that's what i tell myself anyway.
i know i said i was over it. but clearly not.
actually i really did think i was over it. then he randomly opened a fb chat box with me yesterday. and made me laugh my head off. i wish all guys were like that. i can see why he'd be popular... from a personality point of view anyhow. he's physically not amazing. pretty average. could afford to lose a tiny bit of weight. but hey, not everyone can look like gsp. he can look quite cute sometimes. and it's those moments that make me all fuzzy inside. add that to some wit that he spins out everyone and then, and i'm lost for words.
but i don't think it'll happen. i guess we'll wait and see what happens. i don't wanna spoil it. i guess winning him in the end doesn't even matter. i miss this feeling. the feeling of wanting to have someone all to yourself. i haven't had it in years and years. sometimes i try to deceive myself and pretend its happening when it really isn't. i guess i just miss those days as a 16 year old where the feeling would come and go so often. it just doesn't come along too often these days.
i also, however, do not wish to invent things in my head. i hope it doesn't blind me to his indifference. i don't want to create 'signs' or whatever from him when they're not really there. i think it's a common trap that girls will fall into. he can be so cute sometimes though...
i suppose i consciously try to restrict myself from talking to him too often. firstly because i don't want to appear too eager. and secondly, i guess its because i don't want to spoil this picture that i've drawn of him in my head.
i just realised what i'm writing and started laughing.
i've just written this post about an almost complete stranger. someone who probably doesn't even bother to think about me in their spare time. it's funny like that, isn't it?
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